Why does miscarriage happen? Why does it randomly choose women to endure horrible heartache? Why does God allow this to happen? I’ve never felt so lost, hurt, and broken. Why do bad things happen to good people? I never thought that I would have a miscarriage, nor did I think I would have the courage to share our story. God placed it on my heart to start sharing our story, maybe it was his plan all along. I feel at some moments that he allowed me to endure this pain just so that I could share it with others and help them thru it. After searching for my purpose maybe this is what he wants for my life, to be able to help other women thru their heartache and also share his love & word with them. So as hard as this will be, and as much as I might cry writing every single page, I am going to do this and I hope and pray that it helps me heal and helps other women heal too. The joy that we all felt when we saw those two lines appear on our pregnancy test was short lived, as that moment of joy is no longer with us and we are enduring the worst pain we have ever felt. The thought of having life inside me and then having that taken from me is an unbearable thought that is now my reality. Miscarriage is such a touchy topic to talk about, and more often than you think it is a topic that is hugely avoided. Many of your family, friends, and coworkers wont understand your heartache, and it will hurt you because you will feel alone in your grief. But know that you are not alone, God is with you every step of the way and you may not think so or want to believe he’s with you but he is. This verse lets me know that God is with me during this tough time, Psalms 6:6-9 “I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eyes waste away because of grief, it grows weak because of all my foes. Depart from me, all you workers of evil; for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord accepts my prayers”. You have two choices that you can make in dealing with the loss of your baby, you can turn to God or you can turn away from God. I know its hard to have faith and you want to be angry with God but Romans 8:28 lets us know that “God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose”. I know how hard it is to believe in that, trust me going thru a miscarriage broke me down completely and left me feeling hopeless, but when I think about God and his love for me it brings me out of that dark place. We experienced this loss, and now my husband & I have to chose to turn to God for understanding, wisdom, and support to get us thru it. He is an all knowing God he knows your hurting and he’s waiting with open arms to see you thru it just as he is seeing us thru it. You will make it thru, just surround yourself with positive and encouraging people, and use this time to get closer to God. It’s ok to cry, to be sad, to hurt but don’t allow yourself to get stuck in that place. God loves you and he knows your hurting and that’s why his arms are open and ready for you to give it all to him to relieve you of your hurt.
Sincerely, Angelica
P.S. this is my very first blog and it is very near and dear to my heart.
Blighted Ovum Changed My Life (Miscarriage) 